How much we can bear

I am currently in Daly City for the funeral of my grandmother. I called her Nana. She was diagnosed with cancer in March and now in September she is with the Lord. It happened so fast and to someone who was in good health that it kinda took us all by surprise. Not the fact that she passed but the fact that she was even sick in the first place. Cancer? Not only cancer but we later found out that the initial diagnosis was wrong. The doctors said it was lung cancer but it wasn't. It had spread to the lungs by the time they had found it and they incorrectly treated it as lung cancer. (I have never had my faith in doctors so shaken) But I guess that is why Jesus says to not place your trust in man.
So my Nana is gone, but definitely not forgotten. I guess I am dealing with it pretty well. I sometimes wonder if I really am or if it is just a facade that will come crashing down. But I guess I have to daily remind myself that God is still on the throne. Through the pain and the hurt, the doubts and the worrying. God is still on the throne. God knows that my Nana won't be there to see my wedding and that she will miss the birth of my children. He knows that I struggle with whether my children will be accepted by their great grandparents but when I look at the scriptures I do not see the words "tough luck" written. I see "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". I also see "be anxious about nothing. But in everything through prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. Then the peace of God which trancends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus"
HALLELUJAH! God knows me and he knows my heart and my needs and my thougts and HE CARES!!! But he also knows his will for me and I must trust and believe that he is not a God whose word would return void. Thank you Lord for keeping me in your will.